i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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