He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How does it feel to date your dad?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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