Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
