even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
