my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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