giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
