are you still at the devil's house?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
