Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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