he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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