haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
