He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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