Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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