Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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