I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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