Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
