Whod you bang
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
