the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
