PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize