I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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