We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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