yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
