Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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