There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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