Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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