Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
