it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
