It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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