We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
