Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
