Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
