You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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