dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
