anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
