I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
