you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
