party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
