i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
