Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
