i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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