Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Randomize
