is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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