Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
