I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
