i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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