Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
