we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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