david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
