Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
