I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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