I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
