Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
