my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
