She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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