i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina