I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.