i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
