Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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