Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
