normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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