his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
