I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
