when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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