i barfeds in our rink
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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