I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Acid is not a monday night drug
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
