Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
