so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He felt like a one man threesome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You ruined the universe
Randomize
