You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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