to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
