Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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