I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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